


Dirty

by fhsa_archivist



Category: Smallville
Genre: Established Relationship, Humor, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-07-30
Updated: 2004-07-30
Packaged: 2019-02-05 14:56:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12796839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fhsa_archivist/pseuds/fhsa_archivist
Summary: Cleaning up can be fun.





	Dirty

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Haven, the archivist: This story was originally archived at [Fandom Haven Story Archive (FHSA)](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Fandom_Haven_Story_Archive), was scheduled to shut down at the end of 2016. To preserve the archive, I began working with the OTW to transfer the stories to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2017. If you are this creator and the work hasn't transferred to your AO3 account, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Fandom Haven Story Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/fhsa/profile).

Notes: In response to the CLFF challenge: Lex and Clark have a food fight. 

 

Notes Two: This is more like *after* the food fight happens. I just couldn't come up with a good enough 'plot'. 

 

*************************************************** 

 

"Lex?" 

 

"Yes, Clark?" 

 

"Wasn't that a fun dinner party?" 

 

"Um, how so?" 

 

"Well, we had all our family and friends there." 

 

::blinks eyes and gives lover an incredulous look:: 

 

"You're joking, right?" 

 

"No. Come on, Lex, it was *fun*!" 

 

"Says the man who doesn't have cavier in his underwear." 

 

::squeals of laughter interrupt angry bald man:: 

 

"Le-ex, you have to admit, it was great when your dad got chocolate pudding 

thrown in his face." 

 

"Heh. Yeah, that one's going on next year's Christmas cards." 

 

"Okay, I'm feeling sticky now, Lex. Shower?" 

 

"Do you have to ask?" 

 

::two sets of feet hit the stairs, sounds of doors banging open and water 

running as clothes are quickly shed:: 

 

"Eew, Lex. You look like you got cooties on your dick." 

 

"Cooties?! Clark, you're sixteen not six. Besides, I wasn't lying when I 

told you I had gotten cavier down my pants." 

 

::snickers and giggles erupt:: 

 

"It's not that funny, Clark." 

 

"Says you." 

 

::walks up to lover and quickly swipes away what he can:: 

 

"What are you doing?" 

 

"Trying to get the fish eggs off. Wouldn't want you to smell fishy." 

 

::more giggles ensue:: 

 

"Uh huh. You know, Clark, I'm more concerned you'd smell fishy. I mean, what 

with you being an alien and such. I don't really want to suddenly find out 

you can lay eggs yourself." 

 

"Lex, if I could, um, lay eggs, don'tcha think I would have done so by now?" 

 

::looks intently at older lover:: 

 

"You have a point." 

 

"Come on, Lex. I have the shower set just the way you like it." 

 

"Thank you, Cla...argh!" 

 

::jumps out of shower, shivering:: 

 

"Clark! The water is ice cold!" 

 

"Heh, serves you right." 

 

"Why, you, you...grrr!" 

 

::water is turned to a more comfortable temperature:: 

 

"Better, Lex?" 

 

"Much. Now you may help me remove the food from off my body." 

 

"Ooo!" 

 

::shower curtain begins to move around along with wet slaps onto tiles:: 

 

"God, Clark! It's not a straw! Don't suck so hard." 

 

"Sorry." 

 

::sounds of slurping are faintly heard over the noise of the shower:: 

 

"Cl...Clark! I'm gonna..." 

 

"Mmm, Lexilicious!" 

 

"..." 

 

"You alright, Lex?" 

 

"Not really. I'll just make myself comfortable here on the shower floor." 

 

::younger man rolls eyes as he helps lover stand back up:: 

 

"It wasn't that spectacular, Lex." 

 

"Says you." 

 

::shower curtain flutters again as the two men finish washing each other, 

stepping out of the shower and drying themselves off:: 

 

"I *think* I can dry myself off, Clark." 

 

"I was just trying to help." 

 

::major pout and puppy eyes form:: 

 

"Oh, stop that. I was joking. I'm just very sensitive down there." 

 

"You mean here?" 

 

"Guh! Yes. Um, stop." 

 

"Okay." 

 

::puppy eyes return:: 

 

"Clark...give me a second, okay?" 

 

"Okay." 

 

::towels are thrown to the side as the two make their way towards the bed:: 

 

"I'm tired, Clark, let's go to sleep." 

 

"..." 

 

"Clark?" 

 

"You know, I'm still kinda interested here." 

 

"So, you are. Lay back and let me take care of that for you." 

 

::massive slurping noises echo throughout the room while the sound of sheets 

ripping accompanies it:: 

 

"Lex!" 

 

"Clark, you destroyed my two hundred dollar sheets." 

 

"Sorry?" 

 

"Clark?" 

 

"Yes, Lex?" 

 

"I was joking." 

 

"Oh." 

 

::major eye roll by older man:: 

 

"Good night, Clark." 

 

"Good night, Lex." 

 

::sound of light switch being clicked off:: 

 

"Love you." 

 

"Love you too, Clark." 

 

::minutes later:: 

 

"Lex?" 

 

"Yes, Clark?" 

 

"Can we do that again tomorrow?" 

 

"..." 

 

"Lex?" 

 

"Good *night*, Clark." 

 

"Night, Lex." 

 

End


End file.
